Jennifer L. Henderson, X27070
CCWF
Chowchilla, Ca. 93610
My name is Jennifer Henderson and I am serving two consecutive LWOP sentences for the first degree
murders of Thomas and Jackie Hawks. Growing up with a controlling father, whose main focus
was financial security and a co-dependent mother who ensured peace by keeping my father
happy, I learned to be co-dependent and to lie to maintain appearances. My normal was to do as
I was “told” and act as I “should”, in order to give the impression that life was perfect. Defeated by my circumstances, I didn’t speak up, to avoid conflict or disappointing others. I cared too much about the opinions of others. I was afraid of failure and judgments; I had extremely unrealistic expectations of myself, and was not able to cope with confrontation. I stuffed my grief, pain, and confusion throughout my childhood, my marriage, and leading up to Thomas and Jackie’s death. The unhealthy dynamics of my childhood led to me marrying a man that “needed” me, only fueling my co-dependency. My need to protect, maintain appearances, and fear of failure, combined with his dysfunction and denial of his true self, created an atmosphere of lies that led to the murders of Thomas and Jackie. Today, I pray that my own children continue to learn from my past, as I strive for the opportunity to one day be the mother that they both need and deserve.
1 was arrested in 2005, thus abandoning my 2 month and 15 month old children. As a
mother of two teenagers, I cannot deny the gravity of the callous, heartless manner in which
two lives were brutally taken. There is a damaged hole in my heart and spirit from missing every
major moment and milestone throughout their lives. I pray for the opportunity to one day, be
the mother that they both need and deserve; one that is physically present in their lives. Until
then, I will continue to give them the best of me. As a LWOP, it is often times extremely
difficult to remain hopeful. Yet, my strength comes from parenting my children by encouraging
them to do well in school, to be honest, and to be their best selves. Mostly, I strive to teach
them to learn from my past mistakes; while encouraging and assisting them to succeed in life.
Until then, I will continue to give them the best of me.
I have completed multiple self-help groups, and obtained two AA Degrees; Sociology
and Liberal Arts, both with Honors. My education is vital to my positive change and I will
continue seeking higher education. I am the facilitator within our LWOP Support Group, creating new ways of advocating, and I also serve as the vice chair and Public Relations Representative within
the Long-Termers Organization (LTO), where I am able to reach out to members of the community, in hopes of them coming into the facility, sharing tools and information to the CCWF population. I have lived in an Honor Dorm within the institution since 2016, and have remained disciplinary free for the entire time I have been incarcerated. I recently worked as a Peer Health Mentor, educating the population on communicable diseases and prevention, and continue to give the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) presentation to all inmates as they enter CCWF. I am currently a recruit in the Offender Mentor Certification Program (OMCP), which is presently on hold due to the current COVID-19 pandemic. Giving a my time, energy, and efforts for those who cannot do for themselves has brought joy, fulfillment, and continued genuine amends to all those victimized by my past behaviors. Some of the volunteer programs that I currently participate in are:
- Comfort Care volunteer, which includes comforting and providing my peers housed in
the Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) with emotional, spiritual and hands on support,
including vigil visits and hospice like care. It is vital for my fellow peers to not only not die alone but to pass knowing that their lives had meaning and that their lives matter. - Gifted Hands Crochet Outreach Project, which includes crocheting blankets, scarves, and beanies for children’s hospitals, veterans, and first responders
- The Pillowcase Project, which allows me the opportunity to sew dresses for under-privileged girls in other countries, made literally out of pillowcases
- Grief Counselor, which I provide encouragement to all in need throughout the population
I had learned to be codependent, to lie in order to keep the peace, and to keep secrets.
Acknowledging my own feelings was not something I was taught, yet today, I make my emotional
needs a priority. I am no longer afraid to speak the ugly truth, despite how others respond. I
appreciate every opportunity I have been given, allowing me to learn, grow in my life as well as
change the way I view it, and make the best decisions for my life, my family, and my community,
both inside and outside of the prison walls.
The hardest dose of my undeniable reality has brought forth my personal growth, healing, emotional maturity, and desire to |earn about myself.
unshackled 